September 11 temporarily shaped the lives of millions of Americans, and I am no different. I swore to appreciate life, to take every opportunity that presented itself, to hug my children longer, and to live with purpose. But like most Americans, life became crowded and there was no room to savor and act on such ideas. Plus, for me, my own life and internal chaos was so loud it was hard to hear my most intimate thoughts telling me to quiet down and listen the lessons of Lizz’s story.
Just like for most Americans, every September the story of 9/11 sweeps in like high tide and recedes again just as quickly. We are all shocked each year how it still stings and burns, as if the loss is fresh. The emotion moves so quickly, we can’t grab hold of it. Frankly, for many years I didn’t want to grab hold of it because the loss of Lizz and thousands of others in contrast to the life I wasting was so painful that I just wanted to shut my eyes and wish it away. However, just as each tide slowly changes the landscape of the sand, so the emotional tide slowly changes me.
With every passing year after the remembrance of 9/11, I continue to make small changes in my life that bring me greater peace, greater purpose, greater love, greater appreciation. I have seen interviews and spoken with Lizz's family members, who always show great restraint, love, compassion, and forgiveness. Lizz’s sister wrote a blog in which she talked about writing letters to her sister. I could see the space in her life where there should be a sister and the pain she felt from having only that space as a constant companion instead of a living, breathing sister. She spoke elegantly and with great love and kindness in her heart in a way that no one that has lost their most beloved family member should be able to do. I would like to thank the Wainio family for showing me how to be great. I will never be able to express my sorrow for what their family has experienced in a way that wouldn’t sound shallow or hollow. However, Lizz and her family have very slowly moved the sand for me.
Every year I am reminded of how precious life is and every year I am reminded to pay attention to things that matter and forget the things that don’t. Every year I recalibrate, refocus, and renew the spirit. This week we are once again reminded to pay attention, to value love, to lead life with love and kindness and forgiveness and compassion.
Lizz may not be here anymore, but she is still a friend I run into occasionally- only now we don’t catch up about the past, but she helps me to move into the future with greater purpose. Thank you Lizz for your greatness. Thank you Wainio family for the light you continue to shine. Thank you to all the 9/11 victims and their families for your greatest sacrifice. Your loss is not in vain. We are a stronger nation and stronger individuals as a result.
